Exactly one year ago today, I was planning a wedding. Tonight I'm preparing myself for the memorial of my precious husband that will take place tomorrow. Life is so WEIRD! It just doesn't seem right. I'm still not so sure I've completely wrapped my mind around what has taken place in the past year. Spiritually speaking, my heart is so settled and I know Cody is having an amazing time with Jesus right now. Physically, I miss him. Plain and simple.
Life is so unpredictable, isn't it?
The only thing that makes sense in my life right now is Jesus and His intense love for me. He showed it to me by giving me Cody, who for me was the best example of Jesus apart from Jesus Himself. Instead of asking "what would Jesus do?" - I've often wondered, "what would Cody do?" He not only talked the talk; he walked the walk. He didn't even "try", it just came natural to him. He oozed love.
My dad's still here, but my brother and his family just left this morning. Being surrounded by them was such a much needed diversion. We spent wednesday afternoon in Ft. Bragg at the beach and then elk watching later in the evening. I had prayed that we would see atleast 1 elk, since my family had never seen one in real life. Well, not only did we see one, we literally saw atleast 75 or 80 coming down the mountain to drink from a water trough. It was amazing! I love elk; they're so majestic. It has truly done my heart good having my family around. We missed you, Mom!!
Today I received a letter from a friend across the ocean. I'm sure he had no clue what he was doing when he sent this package out 12 days ago. He ended his letter with a quote that has spoken volumes to my heart.
"And now I have no longing but to do at home, or else afar, His blessed will. To walk amid the many or the few; Thus, "choosing not to choose," my heart is still."
Thank you, Charles, for your prophetic utterances.
I will be in California for a few more days.. and then dad and I will take off into the wild blue yonder. Jeep loaded down! I'm lookin' forward to a road trip with him. What a crazy, but precious time we're having together.
I'm so grateful for all the prayers and intercession that's going up on my behalf. I can feel it. God's grace and peace has surrounded me like a warm blanket. You are all treasures in the eyes of God!
6 comments:
Amy, You have truly found the peace that passes all understanding that Jesus talks about. In the midst of your storm, there is such peace around you. Rest there, allowing Jesus to carry you through this rough weather. We are praying for you today. We love you!
Megan
Amy,
Words are elusive. My heart is heavy for you.
...trust God.
...love Jesus.
...you are loved.
--> "Run in such a way as to get the prize..." 1 Cor. 9:24
May the wind of the Holy Spirit carry you mightily on your journey...Rick Leland
You have been in the thoughts and prayers of Jeremy, Tamara, Tommy, and me, all day long. We have talked about you several times. Our love and prayers are still with you for safe travel and for peace in your wounded heart.
Love,
Mama B
You don't even know me, but I was reading the blog of Missy Wood because we used to go to church with them at Biltmore Baptist before we moved, and I saw the prayer request for you and the link to your blog. I also grew up in Transylvania County (Lake Toxaway) and just wanted to let you know how much your story touched and inspired me. I spent forever just reading back through your story and even shed some tears in prayer for you. I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and for Cody's family - for strength and peace in the days to come. Our God is perfect and provides everything we need!
Kim Rector
rectorcrew@att.net
Troutman, NC
Amy - I hope the memorial went well. We wanted to be there, but my brother and sister-in-law moved out of town this weekend. We had committed to help them pack up and move, and then unpack their new house this weekend. We are thinking of you. It is good to hear that you are having a wonderful time with your family. Keep in touch when you get home. Love you!
Amy, It was soooo good to meet you! I know the circumstances were not good but I was so hoping I would be able to meet you and maybe encourage you a little.
The memorial was so beautiful, it was EXACTLY what Cody would have wanted. I could feel Him there, you know. And God too, His spirit was all over the place. I know that Cody was honored and so was God. I am continuing to lift you up in prayer, especially on your trip home. Know that many of your heavenly family are here praying for you, interceeding on your behalf. You touched people who do not even know you. That is God.
So be blessed. Maybe God will let our paths cross one day again. Beloved bride of Christ, be blessed!
Sarah
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