7 mths

i can't believe it's been 7 mths already! i say that on the 21st of every month. why does it feel like my world has been standing still all this time? and why do i feel so exhausted? i sleep...oh, yes... and i get plenty of it. but i wake up so tired. grief is so foreign. no one can possibly prepare you for it. its just something you have to experience on your own and learn as you go. kinda like feeling around in the dark, not knowing what's coming next.

im all too familiar with the "7 stages of grief". i wish they came in order. i feel like i bounce around, take a few steps forward, and then bam... back to stage 1. shock. numbness.

on a more exciting note (insert sarcasm), i feel socially awkward, which is so not my personality. keeping in touch with people used to be one of my strengths, but now people are lucky if they get a return email / phone call. i dont do it on purpose, i promise. and if you are one of those people, im so sorry. i just need a lot of grace.