10D and 10E

first i have to say that i absolutely love divine appointments! when you least expect, God causes your path to cross with someone you might not have ever met otherwise. (keep reading for a testimony)

with that said, here's a little background of where i've been for the past week (almost). for the past couple weeks, i've been seriously discouraged. i went to mexico in hopes of being refreshed by a change of scenery and seeing old friends. as great as it was seeing Kassandra and the others in the village, it didn't even begin to touch the tip of the iceberg or what was going on in my heart.

even in my weakened and depressed state, God used me to reach out to a lady named Maria and my friend, Lorena, that i was staying with. Lorena's brother fell seriously ill during the time that i was there. i prayed for Lorena one morning, held her as she weeped and cried with her. from then on, she kept telling me that she believed God had sent me there to just to pray for her. it's possible.

Maria is Lorena's neighbor. she's severly overweight and has had high blood pressure for the past 7 yrs. she lives in a makeshift house. i dont even know how to describe it really. she has one room thats built out of cement block and the rest of the house is tin, tarp, and miscellaneous scraps. last sunday night i sat with Maria as she cooked steak over an open fire. it was surreal. cockroaches climbed around the wooden "table" as i made a seat out of a pile of ceramic tiles.

to be completely honest, i didnt understand about 85% of what Maria said. but we bonded. somehow, someway. before leaving, i prayed for her. asking God to please touch her body, but more imporantly than that to please open her spiritual eyes.

monday morning, i walked out of the village at the crack of dawn, and headed for the main road to catch a bus to the main station. from there, i headed north to Austin, TX to visit my friend, Jana.

i felt like i've been just going thru the motions. living, but not really. breathing, but not really. my eyes are open but i walk around in a daze. the fog has been thick the past few wks. i feel stuck, like i cant go forward.

i hung out with Jana in Austin for a day or so, then flew home bright and early (5:30am to be exact) wednesday morning. a young African American girl sat down beside me on the plane. we smiled and started asking the normal questions that you ask when sitting on a plane. where are you going? what do you do?

as the plane leveled off at 33,000 ft, Crystal was planning on sleeping or reading (she had whipped out Every Woman's Battle, which encouraged me incredibly seeing a young woman fighting for her purity) and i just wanted to relax too. neither one of us had any clue that the fact that we were even sitting beside each other was supernaturally ordained.

Crystal's original seat assignment was all the way back in row 24. when she got to the airport, they moved her up to 10D. i was seated by the window in 10E.

we started talking more and more about life, and honestly, i cant remember most of how we got to where we were ... but before i knew it, i was sobbing. the frustrations and discouragements of the past few weeks came spilling out. i leaned on Crystal's shoulder, my tears dripping down on to her beautiful brown skin, as she prayed for me.

then she started "reading my mail"; telling me a lot of what i was feeling and things that were going on in my heart. things that only me and God knew. she reminded me that i cannot help/heal others until i let God heal me first. what a much needed reminder. i feel like ive been trying so hard lately to squirm my way out of this season. i mean, i want desperately for God to use it. i wanna prosper in it, not just survive it! but sometimes, i just want it to be over already. i want the exhausting grief to turn into joy. the ashes into beauty. the mourning into dancing.

God wasn't just using Crystal to minister to me though at 33,000 ft. He was also doing something in her heart. She feels called to ministry, but has been wrestling with it and hasn't wanted to surrender. so the fact that God was even using her to minister to someone was a big deal. we cried and then we laughed. i think the flight attendants probably thought we were a coupla coocs. its ok :)

now im back at home in the beautiful mountains of NC and not missing the oppressive July heat down south at all. just registered today to see/hear Mahesh & Bonnie Chavda and Bill & Beni Johnson at All Nations, July 23rd - 26th. cant wait! it will for sure be a breath of fresh air and refreshing and encouraging to be in the presence of such incredible men and women of God.