the enemy was against me. Throwing his little fiery darts right in my face. In reality, those darts are probably only about the size of a toothpick! -->Cody and I couldn't wait to go to church today. It was the first time we've been able to go in almost 2 months. We were excited, but found our joy quickly stolen as soon as our feet hit the floor.
After many tears and prayers to get ready, we finally made it! We might've been a little late, but we made it. We were greeted with smiles, wow's, and a whole lotta open arms. We felt so loved! After a few minutes, we were ushered to the front for prayer. Cody and I stood there surrounded by our brothers and sisters who care so deeply for us. Most of them don't even really know us, yet they all swarmed the front to offer up a prayer.
The past few days have been incredibly difficult for me. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the strength to face another day or the energy to open that pill bottle one more time. I described it to Cody like this... I feel like I'm in a straight jacket, the full body kind and I'm just squirming around and trying to wiggle my way out of it. I know God wants to teach me (us) some things during all of this, to work something out in me (us), to make me (us) more like Jesus, to perfect me (us), to strengthen me (us), to empty me of myself. But man, why does it have to be so doggone painful? Please don't answer that question.
On a lighter note, we wake up every morning to a devotional from "God Calling" and no joke, without fail, God speaks something deeply personal to our hearts. This is our year. This devotional was a prophetic gift from our dear "foster mom", Sandra Brown. Thank you, Sandy!
6 comments:
tonya said...
I cry as I read your blog. Many times I have tried to figure out what I can do for you. Then I pray, cry, and pray again, call friends, send out emails and then become quiet and listen. I Thank God for My healthy Cody. Today I needed to send you a reminder of a wonderful poem that has helped me make sense of my tense days.
Amy remember the Poem Footprints?
If not here it is:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson
I love you and God Bless both of you with a wonderful nights rest.
Tonya Ray
Becky and I do have some idea of what you are going thru having seen Becky's dad go thru a two year battle with live cancer. he did win the ultimate victory and is now home. Jesus has been every where that you have been and will lead you. If you have ever seen the movie the Passion of the Christ those images are forever etched in you memory, especially the brutal stripes Jesus willingly took on his back for your healing. Jesus conquered sin, disease and death for you. No matter what happens you win. satan's immediate goal is ti silence you witness which he has also lost. Becky and I will continue to pray for you healing and witness, but no matter what happens WE WIN.
Been throwing darts back at him for ya. Just wanted you to know! Love Jamie
"God Calling" what a wonderful book by Two Listeners. My first prayer partner and I walked through this book for two years. Then we bought the next one called "God at Eventide" and walked through that one too. Without fail, it was just what we needed for that day. God is good to lead us to the right words, the right phrases, the right letters at the right time. God is good All the time.
I wanted you to know that there are multitudes of people praying for you and against those toothpicks that sometimes splinter in our souls.
1 Peter 4:16.
I will hold the Christ-Light for you in the nighttime of your fear.
Ouida
Yes in deed the book was prophetic. It was when I first found it and it was when I gave it to you. But even more prophetic was the day Ken found Cody walking in the subdivision on our property and said "Hey man, whats happening?" And then Cody came to us, and then Amy, and then I had two more children. Now, THATS prophetic. Love, Healing & Strength, Foster-Mommy, Sandy
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