Yesterday, I caught a glimpse of a different world and realized, yet again, the crucial importance of knowing God's character. When we know who He is and His ways, we won't blame Him for everything that happens in our lives.
My friend, Chris, and I teamed up with 3 other guys (Cameron, Ryan, and Joe) who frequent a place in downtown Charlotte called "the wall". It's nothing more than a concrete wall where dozens of homeless people hang out everyday.
Before leaving for the wall, God told me to make a Valentine card. I had no idea who it was for, but knew God would tell me once I was there.
As we pulled into the parking lot, I literally saw 50 - 60 people just sitting on this wall and others standing on the sidewalk. I never knew this place existed. In the sea of African-American men, my eyes fell on one lone white girl sitting with her legs crossed. I wondered how she got there.
Amanda, was her name. 23 years old. Christian. Former pre-school teacher at a local church.
She told us that she had made some "bad decisions", allowed "friends" to drag her away and believes that "God had to break her down before He builds her back up." Those were her words.
While talking with Amanda, God told me to give her the Valentine card.
What continues to blow me away is that God saw Amanda before I ever did. Before I ever even left the house, He had His eye on her. He wanted to woo her with HIS love on this 'day of love'. He wanted to know if she would be His Valentine.
As I handed her the card, she just starred at me in disbelief. Her shock quickly faded into laughter and she smiled, stuck the card in her purse and told me she would read it later when she was by herself.
I guess the part that hurt my heart the most was hearing Amanda say that she believed God had purposefully put her in this situation. What a distorted worldview.
I found myself thinking about Amanda hours after I left the wall. And last night as I tried, unsuccessfully, to go to sleep it was Amanda who was on my mind. I wondered where she would be laying her head and asked God to protect her.
Another thing I noticed yesterday was that most of the people I talked with are "immune" to the Gospel. They hear it every single day. Most of them get meals and a hot shower at a local shelter, but before they're allowed to eat they have to listen to a presentation of the Gospel. So just imagine.. twice a day, everyday... that's 14 x's a week! Not including the couple who comes to pick up trash while passing out a sheet of paper with scriptures on it. It has no power to them.
One guy actually walked by and ask, "Can the spirit help me get off drugs??" We said, "yes, He can!" And as he walked away, he said "not today!"
I saw a lady pull up in a van, pull out 2 trash bags, and start passing out socks and used shoes. After the bags were empty, she got in her van and drove away.
I saw a church bus pull up, pass out hot meals, and then drive away.
Cameron, Ryan, and Joe are different. They go empty handed, but with a heart full of love. While driving to the wall, they went over all the names they had learned just to make sure they didn't leave anybody out. It was important for them to remember people's names. The faces have names.
I watched them walk up to people like they were old friends. It was really beautiful to see them just simply loving people where they're at. Listening to their stories, talking, offering advice if asked for it, playing Willie's gameboy, laughing, and just being friends.
I sat on the wall beside Willie as he played his gameboy. "Where's your husband?" he asked. Tears filled my eyes as I said, "he's with Jesus." Willie didn't understand at first. After a few more questions, he finally got it. As I sat there wiping away tears with an old tissue, Willie just kept saying over and over, "I'm sorry." The one that I had come to love on was now loving on me.
I believe it's the raw, authentic love of Jesus lived out thru us that will draw people to the heart of God. Not a pile of socks on the street given out half-heartedly, or a hot meal given in haste.
6 comments:
Amy,
Wow, This so touches my heart. It is so easy as Christians to "go through the motions" without our hearts really offering Jesus to people. I wonder how I have allowed that to happen? Thanks Amy, for sharing this, it spurs me on in a way that is deeper than words can express. Praying for you today!
Wendy
Oh Amy, how many times I saw this. One of the great things my mom and I did together was go and feed the homeless. Her church went every week and it was very much like that---people standing BEHIND the counter handing a plate of food. I never dished food. I went out and sat at the tables, going table to table, talking, listening, rubbing someone's shoulders. When they found out I was a counselor they'd dig out their medication bottles and want to talk about side effects--so much schizophrenia.
Throwing a bag of socks is a band aid--only one thing changes a life and that is the power of the Holy Spirit when He woos them until Himself.
Most of our ministry counseling center in FL was the same way---we were trench-workers--getting out there with those living under the bridge. That's real life is and where God is--Mother Teresa always said that if we ever wanted to see the face of God we had to look into the face of suffering--there we would find Him.
Something very beutiful happens when their humanity is addressed. Friendship. Really, are seperate sections in heaven for our physically poor brothers and sisters? It seems many people act that way. If there are too sections, give me the poor!
Eres especial en los ojos de Dios!
Thank you. This fills me with such hope!
I am an avid reader of your blog. I even have a link to it on my website. I think you are a beautiful person with a Jesus-like heart. Having said that, I would like to comment on your comments on the "hot meals and shoes/socks given out hasitly/half-heartedly." I am a wife and a mother of a two year old. I work a (more than) forty hour a week job. Nothing would thrill me more than to have the opportunity to serve Christ as my full-time earthly job as a means of financial support. However, I am not in that position. I think that it is awesome that you and the other missionaries are able to spend quality amounts of time with hurting people. I just don't think it's fair for you to say that the meals and shoes were necessarily given out half-heartedly. Maybe they had families at home waiting for them and it's all they had the opportunity to do at that time. I have been on one of those vans before that past out hot meals etc and although I did not stay a very long time to visit, I can tell you that I did it for the same reason you did!
I don't want to come across argumentative or ugly. I just wanted to offer my opinion and maybe point out something to you that I felt may have been a little unfair.
I do love your blog and have actually had my Bible study group praying for you for months. Thank you for opening up your life to others! God Bless! <><
You captured me. The Wall... -> Awesome. Fly-> Carried away by the Holy Spirit.
Here's something I just wrote:
Jesus—Another Dude?
"I think Jesus is just another dude," was Bryan's bottom line in our impromptu conversation.
I knew little about Bryan. But soon, he was telling me about his construction accident. "I should have died," he said. This pointed our conversation into a spiritual direction.
"What do you think would have happened if you had died?" I said.
With little hesitation, he responded, "Nothing."
At that moment, the word of the Apostle Paul pointed at me: “Remember that you were at that time separate from Christ…strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.”
I could easily remember that not too many years ago, I was a lot like Bryan.
So now, my spirit needed to discern what tact to take. Words like “atheist, Heaven, Hell, agnostic, and Jesus," became part of our eight-minute interaction. Mostly Bryan talked.
And he sure did. He quickly rattled off most of his spiritual journey. The more he talked, the more I saw my former self. The one separated from Jesus.
I could have interrupted with some Biblical truth. There’s a time for this. I’ve done it myself. Many times.
God was guiding me in a different approach. 1 Corinthians 13:1 says, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.”
If we lack meaningful love for people who see Jesus as merely another-dude, we are just an irritating noise.
We need to choose the 1 Corinthians 13:13 approach: “Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.”
Choose love. Choose the best. Love extravagantly.
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