it's been a hard month. sometimes i feel like i'm watching my life unfold from the outside looking in. strange feeling.

i'm doing ok though. not looking forward to the 21st, but i know Jesus is walking with me.

yesterday i had lunch with a lady who lost her husband to cancer 4 yrs ago. they were married for 37 yrs, so our stories are not the same. but a loss is a loss. she has since remarried and it was really super encouraging to hear her story. i walked away from that luncheon full of hope and courage. more than ever.

on another note, preps for India are going really well. i've met 50% of my budget already... hallelujah... and i know God is going to provide the rest. no worries.

i've been seriously undisciplined in studying Nepali (the language they speak in Kalimpong) and am a little disappointed in myself. it's hard for me to sit down and study when i don't know the pronunciation. hopefully when i get there, i can find a good language partner.

it always seems like right before i start something new, God slides Ruthless Trust under my nose. this is the same book i read before i met Cody and again shortly after he went to see Jesus face to face. anyway, i think Brennan Manning is brilliant.. and his words give me life.

"the way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, cleary delineated plan for the future."

i really do love it that the road ahead is undefined and obscure. that excites me. no offense, but if all i did was work and eat, i would die of sheer boredom.

life is meant to be an adventure. it is God presenting us with the opportunity to partner with Him, the Creator of the universe. He beckons us to join Him in His dream for mankind. to find out where He's working in the world and go join Him.

"the reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. why? because God has signaled the movement and offered it His presence and His promise."

i love that. God has offered it His presence and His promise.