one year

Ah, so yesterday was the dreaded one year anniversary of Cody's home going. i wasn't looking forward to it, but it turned out to be really peaceful. and honestly, it didn't really feel any different than the past 364 days i've had to walk thru without him.

i woke up with a sense of accomplishment though. like wow, i made it! i am an over comer! i know it's not over and i'm sure there are many more sad days to come, but it just feels so good to have made it thru this year. there were so many times when i wasn't sure if i would. i remember going to bed quite a few times begging God to just let me die in my sleep, because the heartache was just too overwhelming and i didn't think i could do it anymore. we are much more resilient than we think.

God has extravagantly lavished His love and grace upon me this year. the veil is thinner than i once believed.

Cody is the most amazing person i've ever known. he was wild, adventurous, radical, and passionate. he loved Jesus and was like Him in countless ways. he was honest, a man of character and integrity. he was a carpenter, creating something out of nothing with just a few tools. my life truly is better because of him and as a result of the incredible privilege of being his wife. he taught me how to live from the heart, to not be attached to earthly things, and what real love is suppose to look like. he oozed love. he didn't even try to love, it just came natural.

so i spent the day hiking.. in the rain... and it was good. so good. i hiked, prayed, journaled (under picnic shelters), and remembered Cody. my Booney.

one of Cody's quotes was, "when i die, will anyone have changed?"

and to that, i say.. yes. yes, Cody. i am forever changed by you.

Triple Falls in all of its flooded fury

the flowers dance for You..

soaked, but smiling