on fear and Himalayan mountain roads, or lack thereof

the other day my friend, Justin, asked me if i had any fears in moving to India. well, it didn't take long for me to spout off 2 things.

1. driving in the Himalayas

2. leaving my family

allow me to elaborate...

my first time "in" the Himalayas was in May '06 when i went to Kathmandu for my friend Prabina's wedding. before the big day, we decided to go on a safari complete with elephant riding and tiger stalking in the jungles of Chitwan. 4 hrs from KTM by micro-bus (kinda like a mini van, only it seats about 15 people).

so we piled in. Prabina, her fiance, her mom, kid brother, and myself. i remember being so excited; all i wanted to do was ride an elephant!

pretty soon we're on the outskirts of Kathmandu valley, rising higher and higher into the "hills". imagine if you can the tallest mountains you've ever seen in your life with roads, or lack thereof, winding around them. on the left side, we were literally hugging the mountain. on the right side, i was too scared to look! i already knew.... a rocky river bed, thousands of feet below. the picture below actually does it no justice...

and the driver.... totally unfazed and driving at break neck speeds as if he's on the Indianapolis 500! i seriously wanted to die. i bargained with God. if i had the choice to stay on that bus or die; i chose death. i was terrified.

to make matters worse, the cereal i had eaten just a couple hours earlier for breakfast, was coming back to haunt me. i threw up not 1 time... not 2, not 5, not 9.... but 12 times! yes, i counted :) i was so sick.

i remember leaning on the seat in front of me... moaning... while my dear friends mom gently rubbed my back and prayed for me.

as if it can't get any worse than that, the driver absolutely refuses to stop the bus. "this is how it is!" he proudly muttered in Nepali. i don't think there's anything worse than being nauseous and car sick with no relief whatsoever. if you're in a normal situation, you just stop the car. not in Nepal. Nepal is not normal. respectively :)

we finally arrived in Chitwan safe and sound. and it was worth it! we stayed in a little bungalow right on the outskirts of the jungle. the whole trip including transport, 2 night stay, elephant trek into the jungle, and food was around $40 bucks! i love favorable exchange rates.

we didn't see any tigers, but we DID see rhino's in the wild. they are so beastly and aggressive! pretty incredible creatures.

anyway, i tell this story to say that i'm not looking forward to those Himalayan roads. no, i won't be in Nepal but the Himalayas are the Himalayas either way you look at it. this time though, i will be packin' plenty of ginger chews! :)

about my family...

i already have this knot in my stomach. i hate goodbye's.. or see ya later, whatever you wanna call it. i'm dreading the initial departure. after that's over, i know i'll be fine. it's the initial pulling away that rips my heart out and almost causes me to second guess everything i stand for and why i'm going to India in the first place.

oh Jesus, you don't make it easy. who can read Your words and ever be the same again?

"He who loves {and takes more pleasure in} father or mother more than {in} Me is not worthy of Me." (matthew 10:37 amp)