Sunday, October 19, 2008

October 20, 2007

As I sit here on what would've been the eve of my 1 year wedding anniversary, my little heart is aching so much. I can't believe a year has passed already or even that it's been almost a month since Cody went to be with Jesus. It all seems so surreal!

Half the time I feel like a zombie. I guess I could look at is as God's grace... not allowing me to feel everything at once, because He knows I would die. So instead, I walk around in a daze. Half alive.

That's exactly how I feel though. Half alive. On September 21st, a part of me died.

Please just pray for me if you're reading this. And also thank you for understanding that I'm not able to return calls or emails right now.

p.s. I changed the settings making it easier to leave comments. You no longer have to be a registered user.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have never met, yet we have prayed for you both for months, and now each morning we lift you up to the Lord. We have commited to do this for an entire year.
Brubet

Amy Reece Spahr said...

oh, thank you so much and God bless you, brubet!

Anonymous said...

You are quite possibly one of the most strongest Woman I know. I hope you find some joy amongst the sorrows tomorrow and yes, you are in my prayers.

Steph

Tommy and Sandra Boone said...

Amy, as I cry at your words, I am praying and will continue to do so. Oh, sweet girl, how hard this must be. My love to you. Mama B

The Zoo said...

U are in my thoughts, heart and prayers everyday.
watch the sunset today - on the day the two of you would have celebrated your 1st anniversary, have a glass of wine and know your Cody is there with you holding your hand and helping you through one of the most difficult days.

Annette&Bob said...

My dearest Amy...I know today will not be an easy one for you as you think back to where you were and what you were doing this time last year. Please know that once again, my prayers are with you and I am praying our amazing and all-powerful God holds you very closely today. I will see you on Thursday.
Love,
Annette

Anonymous said...

Amy,
I am so sorry for your deep loss, I know your heart is aching. I think about you often, I will lift you up to Jesus, you are so precious to Him.

littlemundorf said...

I am praying for you, Amy Spahr.

Anonymous said...

Amy,
You're in our thoughts and prayers today and always.

Lydia

Ouida said...

Amy, when my mom died two weeks ago my sweet prayer partner sent me a voice mail which I still have on my phone. She said, "Ouida, I've heard you say many times how PRECIOUS your grandchildren are." Open your bible and look at Psalm 116:15. "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints"... precious, precious are His saints... as much as you miss your husband, Amy... PRECIOUS is he to God.

I know Cody, his memory, his pictures, that funny way he cocked his head, the smile and his easy going ways are precious, precious memories, too.

It is okay to be sad and joyful, quiet and loud...it's okay to be crying and laughing...it's all okay my sweet friend. Your NAME is precious to your friends who are praying for you.

Ouida

lyndabyrd said...

Dearest Lord Jesus, I know you are with Amy right now. Lord, let her feel your presence as she has never felt it before. Help her to put on the garment of praise in this spirit of heaviness and lead her in to your Holy peace this day. Blessed is she who is mourning for you, Mighty God shall comfort her as only You can!
Amen

Anonymous said...

Dear Precious Amy,

We are holding you close to our hearts today and keeping you lifted up to Jesus who is the God of ALL COMFORT and who is feeling distressed when you are distressed (Is. 63:9). He is there for you lifting you up and carrying you when you feel too weak to go on. Your marriage with Cody and the love that radiated forth for each other and all who crossed your path was such a testimony of Christ's love for HIs bride the church. You are an amazing woman and I know Jesus is so delighted with your heart of trust and reliance on Him. May His grace and peace be yours today. If you get a chance in the coming days, Pastor James gave a wonderful message this past Sunday on "Lessons Learned in the Darkness". I think you will be greatly encouraged. The web site is www.peninsulachristiancenter.com and click the "sermons" tab.

We Love you sooooo Much, Cindy and Gyimah, Christina and Joseph Kasali

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you Amy. When Justin and I were going through our tough time with the adoption that failed a mentor of mine told me "You are a daughter of a King!" That lifted my spirits and I hope it lifts yours also!

Rebekah

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy

We will uphold you especially this week. Praying that his grace will help you and his love will envelop you.

"Every tear I cry, You hold in your hand"...

We are with you and remember you often.

Archie and Isaac

Anonymous said...

You are in my prayers and in my thoughts offten. I just pray for more strength and grace to keep you.
Sebrina

Answering the Call said...

Amy,
We pray for you daily. May God bless you. Hang in there.
All our love and prayers,
Josh and Angela